Pig= I had enough...


Sometimes I just wanna give myself a rest.. For whatever is happening in my life.. I really had enough... Please.. Stop giving me all this shit.. Stop forcing me to do stuff that I don't wish to. Don't fucking nag at me. I hate it.. I know what is right, what is wrong.. I don't need any other comments coming from anyone.. I had already try my best, stop asking for the same stuff.. I had hear it for years.. I am just stupid in the family, is there a problem with it??..


I had too much stuff happening in my life. Fuck off. Really.. I hate it.. Isn't it too much for a 16+ guy to take in so much pressure.. I know.. ITE is NOT the life for me.. BUt did I ever say that I WILL Go to ITE?.. NO. Because I know if I got to ITE, I will get worse.. I know myself.. I am easily influence.. But I had already tried my best.. Did anyone realise that? Even I did, what will they say to me?


Sometimes... I really wonder, Will it be any difference if I leave this world just like that? I know, I am just being too selfish.. Trying to avoid whatever is happening in my life.. But too bad, I don't like it at all..

No one is perfect.. Maybe I am just those "below-average-perfect" kind of person.. I am not good looking, I don't do well in studies for the pass few years I am in the education world, I don't do well in sports, My body is weak and the worst thing of all.. MY LUCK IS FUCKING BAD.. I really don't know what shit I do that cause my luck to be so bad.. Did I step on DRAGON SHIT when I was very young?? I seldom have good stuff happening in my life..

My first bad luck started during primary 5, if I wasn't wrong.. My friend. I was use by people around me.. They use me as a scapegoat.. I got myself into trouble. NOT cause by me, but by Backstabbing from a group of people called "FRIENDS"..

Then everything bad starts.. When I was in secondary 1, I got into Ping yi Sec.. I don't even dare to TRUST anyone.. Who will you dare to trust if you, by the age of 11, was backstab by people? I don't believe you will dare to even trust anyone.. Then I had a serious asthma attack and was send to the hospital... Then I started fainting.. Countless time.. Fainting.. Then was finally send to the Hospital.. When I get my worse experience ever.. And the best part? I was in the hospital when SARS started.. Sigh.. Who can get as bad luck as I am right?..

Till now the fainting problem is still there.. But yet the hospital could not understand the real problem.. Sigh.. It is damn sick..

But fortunate enough, I know this group of people.. They make me open up myself to them. Walk with me in the worse part of my life. Encourage me when I am down... Always there for me.. Help me when I faint or stuff..

Family problems.. I do not wish to mention anything.. I don't think I should let anyone close to me know.. Sigh..

Nothing much good.. I really REALLY.. Need a rest.. Maybe I should run away to a hotel one of this days.. So that I can relax myself.. DOn't tell me to relax at home.. I CANT.. It is too noisy.. I am disgusted by this house sometimes.. Damn irritating.. Do you call this a home when some old freak shout like mad dog? EVen worse then my two dogs.. DON'T SHOUT AT MY DOGS WHEN YOU, YOURSELF SOUNDS WORSE THAN THEM..

Forget about it. I will just do my best.. I do not need to let you all know. BUt I just know it myself.

I got to go..


Sign off.