I am Pissed, just thinking about it. Some people just doesn't get it. Why do you always have to make people feel that you're smart?

They never realised how hurtful their words are. They don't give a SHIT about what you think. They don't give a DAMN about the whole world as their life revolve around themselves.

This is how amazing Life is.

Oh, and of course, I don't need you to tell me how to grow up or when to grow up. I have been through shit.

Your Life is not even WORTHY enough to tell me what to do.

Thanks.

Sign off.

I guess this is the part of my life which I am pretty happy with it.


Everything is good, just that I'm lazy to update my blog. But I will still make it as a diary for whatever that had happened in my life.

Will try to update whenever I can.

And I'm totally hooked to this game call "League Of Legends". DAMN FUN.

I am Proud to say that I'm a addict. =X

Take care people.

Sign off.

Desmond= In Darkness..

I hate this empty feeling.. The darkness and all the negative thoughts that is devouring me.. Hurting me bits by bits.. This kinda pain I can't explain..

Everything seems so dark.. Darkness.. Something that I am having now.. All around me.. Blinded by my own fear.. Terrified by the word "Life"..

It's all so empty..

Am I gonna be like this for as long as I know?..

Am I gonna get what I want in life or do I even know what I want?..

Do I?..

I hate this darkness messing around with my head...

Stop.. Please...

All I do is to cried... And feeling pitiful for myself..

Ain't gonna do shit for me at all...

Darkness..

Sign off...

Desmond is done with army. Now what?

So the day which I fear the most has arrived. Life after the army. I'm done with Army officially on the 15th of March 2011. And I travelled to Bangkok with my peeps from the 22th of March to the 25th of March, which I had hell lot of a fun. Not including the part where I fall sick there.

And went for my first job interview yesterday as a telemarketer in Starhub, but will only continue my training the 18th days of the following month.

That is if I am still interested.

I do admit the only reason I will be going back is because of the people there. Not the money, not the job. But I did met some really nice people.

I am also sick and tired of people looking down on me, which no one says so. In that case, just say that I'm sensitive at this period of time. Alright, I know I've always been sensitive to every single thing.

I don't know what to say anymore..

Had a lot in mind. Like what am I gonna do next, getting out of here, Studying for O levels next year, Continuing my studies for Social work after my Os and get a job somewhere outside of Singapore. To help people.

My objectives are still pretty much the same, Leaving Singapore, starting a new life of my own regardless of whether is it gonna be tough or no.

I am just worry about my O levels examinations.. If I'm gonna flunk it next year, I am really screwed..

Just hope that wouldn't happen aye? Now it's time for some self reflections of what I'm gonna do and be as positive as I could. Which is a pretty much impossible for me to stay positive.. Maybe all I need is someone, something, A little help which I can keep it in my mind and let that be the motivation for me to continue..

Let me meet this special someone. I don't wish to be leading a normal, boring life before I die... Give me an extraordinary life, an amazing life. THAT is what I want.

Thank you.

Sign off.

What am I to you??

Who am I to you??

A Friend?

A Lover?

Nothing?

JUST TELL ME

Sign off.

Desmond= The Unknown Path Ahead..

I'm back, again but who really care right?. This is just a place for me to talk about my life or rather, complain about my life. And for this entry, it's all gonna be the "confusing" part where I'm currently facing in my life..

Till now, I don't have any idea about what I'm gonna do after the army.. And, Army is gonna end for me in less than a month. I should be looking forward to that but Seriously, I'm worried about everything. I know that I don't wanna be broke in the future and I don't wanna be worthless. But, this is a feeling that I can't get rid of at this point of time...

The Unknown Path ahead of me is really freaking me out.. I don't know what to do. To study or not. It's gonna be a huge sum of money for studying but, is it all worth it? Am I gonna make it? Do I, really wanna study?

Deep down, I know that studying is not something for me. But I also know that it is important to have an certificate regardless of whether a Diploma or a Degree. I need one. I have people telling me that if I think I can't make it studying, well find a job. And I have another group of people, telling me that having an education is important in order for you to get a stable job and a good income.

But all I know and thinking is only to fucking get out of this place. My country, Singapore. There are just too much, too much bad memories here. And I wanna live a new life, a life of my own. But.. How the hell am I gonna do that??..

I know.. I'm been really contradicting here.. I can talk the talk, but can I walk the walk? It's not easy... I'm confused.. And I can't seems to find that specific someone who knows what I'm facing here..

I really like singing and I wanna have a career for that. But can I do it? Or can I even make it? That is, so far, the One passion that I have or should I say, the Only thing that I feel I'm capable of doing.. But there are barely any Asian that make it to the English music industry..

I don't know. Worried, Confused, Upset. YES. I know. Self pitying. Isn't that what I'm good at too?

Sigh..

Now I really need someone to enlighten me. A God, perhaps? Of course, not that I believe of any..

I hope I can figure something out soon. I mean, I don't have much time to waste.

I have always tell myself that I NEED to make it and I don't wanna be average.

AND I WILL. I HAVE TO.

Sign off..

Desmond= Finally something to look forward to.

Finally, I am back once again after been missing from my blog after such a long period of time. I am wondering whether is anyone still reading my blog? Lol. Anyway, this is my blog, even if there ain't anyone reading it, this will still be a place where I could take a look about what had happen in the past. I still love my blog, of course. Not gonna forsaken it after been with me for 6 freaking years.

And yes, after waiting forever, I finally got my very own...

IPHONE 4!!!!

Of course, I gotta be thankful with the help of both my sisters in order to get my very own Iphone. I know, it's not a big deal for anyone since IPhone is a commonly seen gadget around the world. But yes, it IS A BIG DEAL FOR ME.

Can you imagine, I have been waiting to get one from the First IPhone 3 till now. Back then, A Iphone 3 with a telecome carrier cost as much as a thousand. How on earth was I supposed to get that kind of money since I just got into the Military at that period of time? Not to mention the "Amazing" salary that they are giving me every single month, 400 bucks. Isn't that a little too much? Ok people, Sarcasm.

So from Iphone 3 to 3Gs to Iphone 4 and the upcoming Iphone 5. Everyone has been asking me to wait for the arrival of Iphone 5 since it will be out in the States this coming May as rumors have said. But hell no, I can't wait for THAT long. I have been waiting for a freaking 2 years to get a Iphone and now, I gonna wait again? Thanks but no thanks.

Why do I like the Iphone so much? In the past, I like the design a lot because it came in a really bulky design which makes the Iphone a huge phone to be carrying around. But for me, I like huge gadgets. I don't mind having them. Back then, not much people was using the Iphone because of the price and definitely because of the size.

But now? Everyone is using it. 9 out of 10 people are using Iphone when I was on the train. I was freaking out. I thought Singaporeans used to complain about how troublesome a bulky gadget is? Whatever. This is the so called, "Latest Fashion" now.

Anyway, I got my very own IPHONE and I am really glad about that. Even all my friends who got their Iphone earlier than me were making fun of me about having the idea of getting a Iphone like forever. But yeah, I got myself a Iphone now.

But nevertheless, I have to bear the consequences of having my mobile numbers changed. Sigh. Kinda upset about that since I have been using my that mobile numbers for the past 9 years or so. I don't have other choices as I got much comments about the difference of speed for the data usages from my old telecom operator that I gonna have it change to a another telecom operator.

Everyone has been telling me about how much they prefer my previous mobile numbers compare to the new one. But still, I don't have a choice but to have it changed.

Anyhow, I am still a happy man since Iphone have some really awesome applications for me to download and I can use it anytime I want without the need of a wireless connection, which is pretty cool.

So life have been, well should I say, bad as I am starting to hate my job scopes as time passes every single day. But who cares since I am gonna leave the army in less than 2 months time? I have been looking forward to the arrival of this day but yet, I am worry about it since I would have to plan for my future, regardless of pursuing for an education or finding a job that I would love.

Still having lots of hesitations about this.

And recently, I just had a celebration for one of my people, who also happen to be the youngest in our group. Her 20th Birthday.

Miss Hui Shan A.K.A Ah Mei!

It was a memorable day since we have not met up with each other due to everyone's packed schedules and for me, due to the army.

One of the reasons that is stopping me from leaving Singapore to another country is because of them. I can't bear the just leave them. They have been through a lot with me. Really really a lot. They are now consider a part of my life. I don't know how life would be for me without them in my life. Can you imagine, I have known them for more than 6 years. Time do passes really fast huh?

Conclusion? Everyone of us is growing up. Getting more mature from a teen to a young adult to a adult. Of course, I am not looking forward to my 21st birthday. Am having plans to getaway alone on my birthday. Just me, myself and I. Alone. Or maybe with just a friend or 2.

The coming of my 21st birthday is gonna officially make me an adult, regardless of whether I like it or not. And I am not taking it well about that.

Haha, Alright. I just don't wanna become a adult. It's a different world. So yeah..

God, can't believe I have been typing this freaking entry for close to an hour or two!! Phew, I think I gonna update my blog frequently to avoid this kinda long entry.

Adios, people.

Do take care of your health since the weather is unpredictable nowadays.

Sign off.