The ache from the heart is tearing me.. I really really does not wish to let go.. But I guess, the longer this drag, the more damage it's gonna do to me.. I can't take it anymore.
I have tried my all to make it work, to make us work. But it seems like I am the only one putting in the effort to do so..
I prayed almost every single day ever since the incident to help me get through this, help me make this relationship works because I want to and I just refuse to give in.
I had been push around.. Badly.. Neither here nor there, it's not about me anyway, it was never about me.. Never expect myself to do so so much for someone.. The minute I heard the news, I was broken, shatter into little little pieces but I refuse to give up, trying to glued back every single of those pieces and make them whole once again but.. Things doesn't happen the way you wanted it to be.. Never. Ever..
I am broken. I am going insane, but is there anything I can do about it? No. The damage is way too much for me to handle. How could anyone do this to me? Why?? Is it wrong to fight for what you love, what you believe in?
I never once wanted to give up.. Until now.
A tiny part of me is still telling me, "Hold ON, Darling!!! Everything is gonna be ok!!!". That tiny little little voice in my head and the little hope over at the very dark corner of my heart, "Don't let go, Just don't. You will be miserable without this..".
I am at a point where I really really doesn't know what to do anymore.
Can't God just give me a chance, to make us work?
Please God..
Just please...
Help me...
Signing off with a broken heart......
Desmond
