Pig= Falling sick, getting depress..

Hey people. Say whatever you want. I am sick again.. Sigh. And the doctor ask me to go for a heart check up in the hospital. But I don't want to. Due to some reasons.

I am feeling very lousy in whatever I am doing. Work is not successful for me, life is not good for me. I am getting depress because of my lousy performance in work. I am learning way too slow.. I can't do simple stuff like cutting nails properly and trimming of the paw pads. I am lousy at it.. Curse myself.

The fear is there whenever I wanna trim the paw pads. I don't understand why my shifu and shijie can do it but not me. I am feeling damn stress up in work..

I thought that I can make it, but can I really hold on till I seriously become succesful as a pet groomer??

I don't wish to have all this negative thinking, but it is hard to stop them from coming in.. I seriously wish to improve myself more. Like what shifu had told me to put in 150%, not only 100%. Putting in 100% is not enough.

Sigh. I must be strong in order to continue working in this environment. JIa yOU!!! Sigh...